Tag Archives: Pain Quotidien

How much do you pay your cleaner?

19 Feb

I met up with my now ex-boyfriend today. I don’t know whether to call him ex-boyfriend or new best friend. Unfortunately this little tumour destroyed our relationship; suffocating it before it ever really had chance to grow.

It is always going to be a little painful to meet up because it is one of the few real ‘What if?’ moments. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss him. But I’d also be lying if I said I appreciated every moment we spent together when we were together because I didn’t, I took it for granted that we’d grow old together and I didn’t realise that things were rotting away right under my nose.

But you know what? If you really love someone what you want most for them is for them to be happy, and if this is the way it has to be then so be it. It may seem strange that we’re comfortable being friends, but what would our relationship have been based on if we were unable to do that after everything we’ve been through? Nothing.

It hurts a lot but the pain will pass, and it would hurt a lot more to lose him completely. And what about the future? Who knows. It’s unpredictable – that much is clear.

So what about the title of the post? Well it is a mundane question from a mundane conversation at a cocktail party that the ex-boyfriend went to. When life becomes about how much you pay your cleaners, you’ve got to wonder what they hell you are doing surely?! I will never ever become one of these people. Christ I am getting annoyed just thinking about it and I don’t even have or know anyone who has a cleaner. In fact it’s a good thing I wasn’t there as I don’t know what I would’ve said in response!