Tag Archives: out of fuel


21 Feb

Monday was the end of the line. 6 days post consultation my body & mind which had kept going through work, going out, seeing friends, a party, a date, an ex-boyfriend coffee, a bridesmaid dress fitting, and at least 4 ‘I have to have more treatment’ conversations, had given up. As I walked through the door with my Sainsburys shopping I was seriously worried my legs were going to go from under me. I was supposed to be calling my best friend to arrange a holiday, calling my mum to sort out my cousin’s visit, calling my date back, cooking food for the week, and all I could do was crawl into bed. I got up again later, made some dinner and emailed work to say I’d be off sick today. I think it’s the first sick day I’ve taken since returning after my operation 9 months ago.

Today I’ve slept. When I did get up I showered, then sat down as if hit by a tonne of bricks – after showering! God, I feel like I did when I was in hospital.
I’ve been reading Anti-Cancer which is written by a medic who was testing brain theories using an MRI scanner and scanned himself only to discover a brain tumour. He had it removed but relapsed and talks about the feeling the second time around when you can’t understand why your body is letting it grow in the way that it is. He talks a lot about cancer fighting foods. Luckily I seem to eat a lot of these already but I’m hesitant about my new regime of three cups of green tea per day!

This however is better